


let every fracture in me shatter out loud

by GerryStAmour



Series: Jupeter requests! (requests CLOSED | 6/17 Completed) [4]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Nonbinary Character, Other, Sex, Skippable Smut, Trans Male Character, Trans Peter Nureyev, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, and they were soulmates (oh my god they were soulmates), i don't even know how to tag this it's the softest smut i've ever written, just peter tho, vers nureyev rights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:48:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27772525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GerryStAmour/pseuds/GerryStAmour
Summary: “What do you see?” Nureyev asked, genuinely curious.“You,” Juno replied simply, as if that was a real answer, before propping himself on his elbows to bring his mouth close to Nureyev’s in askance. He didn’t close the distance, only waited for Nureyev to meet him, to accept what he offered. Then he added earnestly, “I only ever seeyou.”-Request fill for Danny!!
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Series: Jupeter requests! (requests CLOSED | 6/17 Completed) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024980
Comments: 12
Kudos: 80





	let every fracture in me shatter out loud

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goinghost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goinghost/gifts).
  * Inspired by [points of articulation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26464174) by [goinghost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goinghost/pseuds/goinghost). 



> Aaah so this is a request fill for Danny who greatly honoured me by asking for sweet, tender smut for his shapeshifter!au and I was like YES!!
> 
> So a few points:
> 
>   * I described Nureyev's body as gender neutrally as possible.
>   * Nureyev does not have dysphoria in this fic because I can't write Nureyev with dysphoria for my own mental health.
>   * Nureyev bottoms in this, so there is piv sex that is very vaguely described.
> 

> 
> Anyway!! Hope you enjoy!!

Nureyev pressed Juno back against the bed, crawling over him with a searching look. Juno met his gaze with something painfully soft that had his stomach twisting. The way he looked up at him, his eye gentle and smile fond, was as if he saw  _ him _ .

But it wasn’t Peter Nureyev who loomed over Juno, and it wasn’t Peter Ransom either. It wasn’t any of the other faces Juno may have seen or known, but a new one if only to protect…  _ something _ . 

“What do you see?” Nureyev asked, genuinely curious. His voice was his own at least, and he liked the way Juno’s breath hitched at hearing it.

“You,” Juno replied simply, as if that was a real answer, before propping himself on his elbows to bring his mouth close to Nureyev’s in askance. He didn’t close the distance, only waited for Nureyev to meet him, to accept what he offered. Then he added earnestly, “I only ever see  _ you _ .”

Nureyev let out a soft sound, screwing his eyes shut as he sat back on his heels and straddled Juno’s lap. “What is that supposed to mean, Juno?” he asked, overwhelmed and wrapping his arms around himself tightly. “I’m not—this isn’t me.”

Nureyev could feel Juno shift as he sat up, and he expected the rough palm that cupped his cheek with a tenderness he hardly believed himself worthy of. But he was selfish enough to accept it, and leaned into the touch, kissing the thumb that brushed over his lips.

“Can you look at me, Nureyev?” Juno asked softly, and Nureyev did without hesitation, and the smile that met his gaze knocked the breath from his lungs. Juno gently pulled him close to press their foreheads together.

“You’re right— _ This _ isn’t Peter Nureyev,” Juno said as he stroked his cheekbone with his thumb significantly. Then he held the palm of his free hand against Nureyev's chest and murmured, “ _ This _ is Peter Nureyev.”

There was a beat of silence between them. 

Nureyev snorted, and Juno cringed. Nureyev couldn’t help it; he had to laugh, or he might have started crying.

“Okay, I admit, that was corny,” Juno groaned.

“Very,” Nureyev said, suppressing his giggles. “But it was also very sweet.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Juno laughed. “I’m trying— _ mmph _ !”

Nureyev twisted his fists in the front of Juno’s sleep shirt and dragged him into a kiss, hard and searching. On his next breath out, he nipped at Juno’s bottom lip with his sharp teeth, pulling a gasp from him. He couldn’t feel the shift himself, but he could feel the way Juno walked his fingertips across his changed cheekbone, more defined than the face he had been wearing. 

Juno reached up with his other hand to slide his thumb along his sharpened jawline. 

Nureyev pulled back and opened his eyes, waiting nervously as Juno took his time opening his, as if he was savouring the moment. When Juno finally looked at him, he inhaled sharply through his nose before smiling warmly, his entire expression softening.

“Wow,” Juno sighed, and he trailed his gaze down the length of Nureyev’s torso, now slightly longer and more narrow than the person he had been only a few moments before. Juno grinned up at him, and Nureyev felt something desperate and happy flutter in his chest. Pushing his hand back to card through Nureyev’s hair, Juno said, “Hi, babe.”

“Hi, love,” Nureyev replied, and he felt tears in his eyes.

Juno wasn’t looking at him any differently than he had before, his soft expression full of the same adoration, but there was a happiness to the set of his jaw that was impossible to ignore. Something loosened further in Nureyev’s chest and he knew he was ready to trust Juno again, with his heart, his face, and his past.

After the first night, following the heist for the Globe, Nureyev hadn’t allowed Juno to actually see  _ him  _ again, at least not for very long and not completely. Sometimes he would be Peter Ransom during their talks, and others he was someone else. Some nights he would start with one face, and end with another. In all those nightly talks, Juno had never seemed disappointed to see a different face, a different body, and that made something flutter in his chest.

There had been a night earlier that very week when Nureyev had worn his own face, and Juno’s breathless awe had been too overwhelming. When he had shifted to another face completely, Juno hadn’t even flinched, didn’t apologise or ask what was wrong. It was… comforting.

This would be the first time in months that Juno saw Peter Nureyev, both in spirit and form, sitting before him and he looked… reverent, awestruck. As if Nureyev was the most beautiful being he had ever seen and it was nearly too much all over again for him.

Instead of shifting, though, Nureyev leaned forward and pulled Juno into another kiss, hungry and needy as they toppled onto the bed.

_** [click to skip smut] ** _

* * *

They were both half out of their pyjamas and laying on their sides with Nureyev’s leg slung over Juno’s hip, when the former detective asked, “What’re we doing? How far are we going?”

The break in the activities was frustrating but Nureyev knew it was important, knew it was better to talk it over now than talk about the mistakes in the morning. Not that anything they did in that room would feel like a mistake for Nureyev, and in his heart he knew it was the same for Juno. Whatever they shared that night would be perfect, sacred, and Nureyev wanted as much as he could get of it as possible.

“Want everything,” Nureyev whispered against Juno’s mouth, whimpering when Juno’s hand slipped under the waistband of his boxers. Juno paused there, fingertips resting against the soft skin above his pelvic bone, waiting. With a hum, Nureyev said, “Touch me, Juno.”

Fingers slipped between his folds, playing with the piercing in his dick before sliding further back and inside. Juno’s free hand snuck underneath Nureyev’s camisole to feel along his stomach, dancing across the constellation of moles, his fingertips finding them as if they were well-practiced and had plenty of opportunities to learn their placement. But Juno hadn’t seen this body in months—Juno had remembered such a small detail and that was more than Nureyev could handle with any semblance of composure.

With an impatient sob, Nureyev began pulling at the rest of Juno’s pyjamas, stripping him as Juno returned the favour, until they both laid bare for each other. Nureyev was flat on his back, spread across the duvet as Juno kneeled between his thighs and Nureyev drank his fill. 

Juno had always had scars, Nureyev knew that, but there were so many  _ more _ . He touched the big, jagged one on his left shoulder—“Plasma knife, on an amusement park ride, long story.”—and then the straight, surgical one on the other shoulder—“Shattered it breaking down a door. I kinda told you about it…”—and then the terrible scar on his wrist from struggling against handcuffs, the burn scar from a stun blast on his hand, and so, so many more… 

Nureyev had thought his lady had seen a lot back when they had met, but the year that followed their first parting had been filled with so much more pain, as if another thirty-eight years had condensed themselves into one for Juno. There was that nasty little voice in the back of his head, still stubbornly bitter about being left behind, figured that it all could have been avoided if Juno had gone with him.

But that was stupid, and he knew it. 

Nureyev couldn’t have promised complete safety, or even half-safety. He lived a dangerous life. There was no way to have guaranteed  _ survival _ with the life he had promised Juno. If anything, they had proven they were only capable of near-death experiences when it was just the two of them.

“You’re so beautiful,” Juno breathed, snapping Nureyev out of his musings, and their gazes locked. To Nureyev’s surprise, there were unshed tears on Juno’s lashes and his lip trembled a bit. “Thank you, Nureyev. I don’t—I would’ve been happy with whatever face or body you showed me. I just want you to be comfort—”

“This is it,” Nureyev interrupted, biting the inside of his lip to keep it from trembling. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to say, “I want you to see  _ me _ . I want  _ this—”  _ Nureyev gestured between their naked bodies, “—when I’m  _ me _ .”

“Geez, Nureyev, and you laughed at me when I was being corny,” Juno grumbled sheepishly, his eyelashes fluttering a bit as he bent at the waist for a kiss. Nureyev laughed into the searching mouth, sighing as Juno’s tongue met his halfway.

They moved like they were made for each other, with slow touches and gentle kisses, their lips hardly parting for breath. Nureyev would have been content to stay like that forever, naked in every way possible beneath his lady, if not for the quiet sob Juno let out. Those rough hands had been stroking the planes of his brown skin, steadily stoking the desire twisting in Nureyev’s gut; that soft noise was like jet fuel had been added to an inferno.

“Juno, please,” he gasped, wrapping a leg around Juno’s waist and holding him close. “Please.”

“Yeah,” Juno sighed, moving his mouth to Nureyev’s throat and reaching down between them to press his fingers into Nureyev’s core again. 

There was a current of urgency running between them, but their movements were still gentle, soft. Juno was so attentive, opening him up so tenderly and thoroughly that Nureyev only sighed when he pressed inside with his cock a short while later. Nureyev shivered beneath Juno, legs around his waist and arms around his shoulders, one hand holding the back of Juno’s head while they kissed lazily.

It was perfect, being surrounded, held down, and filled by Juno, being kissed breathless while they shuddered against each other. Then Juno moved and Nureyev was seeing stars and choking on a gasp.

_ Now _ it was perfect, the glorious slide of Juno in and out, the pressure in all the right spots, while his love murmured sweet words against his cheek, his throat, his collarbone, and then his chest. Lips teased along the scars along the bottom of his pecs, the flat of a tongue tracing upward and over a nipple. Nureyev shuddered with his whine for more, for harder, for faster, becoming quickly overwhelmed with how much he loved the man above him.

There were tears threatening to overflow, and he fought them back; if he started crying, he wouldn’t be able to stop. Nureyev didn’t want this to end but how would he explain any tears in a way that Juno would understand? He needed to be overwhelmed with something else, with sensation and stimulation. If it was possible, Nureyev wanted to be fucked so hard he forgot how much he loved and wanted to be loved by Juno Steel.

But Juno only lifted his head to meet his gaze and when Nureyev saw the unshed tears on his lashes, his resolve broke. Lip trembling, he pulled Juno into a kiss, sobbing into his mouth as tears fell.

“Nureyev—” Juno gasped, one hand moving to hold Nureyev’s waist while he moved, in and out, and lit up Nureyev’s entire body.

“Don’t stop—” Nureyev begged, both hands holding Juno’s face as they rocked together, kissing each other messily. “Please, I’m okay—”

“I know, baby,” Juno said, and Nureyev could feel when Juno’s own tears fell against his cheeks. “This is—I know.”

“Juno, I—” Nureyev started, but he didn’t know where he was going with his words. 

He felt close to confessing every secret he had, pouring his heart out in a way he never had, even with Juno. It felt like he was close to offering Juno the entirety of the universe, swearing him anything and everything, and the scariest thing was that he would have meant it all. 

“I love you,” Juno breathed against Nureyev’s mouth, once again startling him out of his thoughts with a strangled gasp. Juno sobbed and repeated, “Nureyev, I love you.”

Last time, after Miasma, after showing Juno his whole self, he had been the only one to actually say it, to say that word as he drifted off to sleep. It was something Nureyev thought about constantly during the months that followed, beating himself up for not seeing Juno’s disappearing act coming. But now, tangled together and pressed closer than they ever had been before…

“Juno, I—!” Nureyev gasped, and he was coming undone, clenching and shaking apart as Juno declared his love and pushed into him determinedly.

“ _ Oh _ ,” Juno gasped and with one last push, he was coming with a loud shout, thrusting against Nureyev erratically as he shivered through the aftershocks. Juno kissed Nureyev’s tear-streaked cheeks and shuddered, murmuring, “I love you, Nureyev.”

“I-I love you, too,” Nureyev sobbed, giving Juno a watery smile when he pulled back. Sniffling unattractively, Nureyev laughed breathlessly when Juno pressed in for another languid kiss.

* * *

Nureyev woke to fingers running through his hair carefully. 

It was the fantasy he had every morning just before he would open his eyes since the hotel room after Miasma. His breath caught in his throat as he hesitated to look. He wanted so badly to confirm that he wasn’t alone in his bed, but the fear gripped him too tightly.

At the gentle press of lips to his forehead, Nureyev opened his eyes and blinked at the sight of Juno’s throat and chest. Nureyev’s breath left him in a rush, and his eyes found Juno’s as soon as he pulled away.

It was real. He had let Juno Steel in, in more ways than one, trusted him once again with every part of him, and he had  _ stayed _ .

Peter Nureyev had woken up and Juno Steel was still there.

“Good morning,” Nureyev said, smiling and wanting to reach out, but still afraid it would shatter the moment, that doing so would prove that he was dreaming after all.

“Morning,” Juno replied, grinning wider. 

Warmth burst in Nureyev’s chest and he scooted closer to accept a kiss. Things still needed work, of course, but for now Nureyev was wrapped tightly in Juno’s arms and wrinkling his nose at morning breath before shouting indignantly at being tickled after pointing it out.

Things were good; Nureyev was in love and Juno was as well, and they were together. That was all Nureyev was comfortable asking for from the universe, so he settled back into Juno’s embrace with an almost-giddy smile.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](HTTP://gerrystamour.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](HTTP://twitter.com/petootnureyev)!
> 
> I also have a server for 21yo+ fans of TPP, which include Y2K babies! [Click here for more information](https://tppadultserver.carrd.co/)!


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